This week my 2009 Toyota Yaris had her final ride. It feels silly to grieve a car and yet here I am…

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A car is never just a car (especially in LA) The Yaris was a vessel of literal and emotional safety while schlepping me all over this endless city. The Giving Tree of Cars: she morphed into whatever I need her to be. A quick nap on a hot day, a long cry under a full moon, a solo karaoke party, and kitchen where countless bagels were consumed. I seriously cried so much in that car. I think my body felt contained and safe enough to let it all out.

I got the Yaris when I was a PA on the 2011 movie The Green Hornet and I remember dragging myself up to get behind the wheel while blasting Florence and the Machine to help me make those 5am call times. I picked up director Michel Gondry who lay in the backseat while I harassed him with questions about how to be a director while he was trying to nap. I knew I should’ve just left him alone but The Yaris always gave me the confidence to be exactly who I was. I wasn’t quiet luxury, I was a Toyota: I fucking got the job done.

When I started ‘taking meetings’ as a writer I remember driving to these fancy Beverly Hills offices, the valets took one look at my car and told me to park it myself! Sure, the Yaris wasn’t a Bentley. She was better: She didn’t need fancy bells and whistles, she was humble, authentic, she had soul.

I kissed SO many boys in the Yaris whose names I don’t remember until I met THE Boy. I was in the Yaris the first time my phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number. My heart skipped a beat ‘Hey, It’s Rufus. From the party…’

We fell in love during Covid: Rufus, the Yaris, and me. She took us on our first road trip to Big Sur where I realized ‘Yeah, this could really be something.’ And when I was unable to drive for a few months, it was Rufus in the Yaris who picked me up Every. Single. Day. Both the Yaris and Rufus taught me that real love is dependable, steady, tender, and kind.

These last few years I didn’t drive the Yaris as much but seeing her parked on the street always provided me with a comfort that was beyond words. Here I was with this new partner, new zip code, new baby (amazing but also A LOT!) SOLO Jessie blending into WIFE/MOM Jessie has been the most profound transformation of my life but, yeah, it can feel discombobulating. The Yaris was a touchstone, a battle cry, a reminder that I have always been that bitch and I always will be.

I’ll miss her deeply but I feel so grateful that out of all the cars in the world she was mine. I love you forever Yaris! (2009-2025)

PS If you live in LA and want your car to last forever go to Song’s Auto on Silverlake Blvd <3