I truly believe that the world (or at least my world) would be a better place if parking garages did not exist.
In an act of passive resistance to battle my daily commute from echo park to santa monica ( 2 hrs of concrete jungle torture) I found a donation yoga studio in the heart of Santa Monica to get my zen on. A pay as you can system? Check. The ability to eat that second piece of bread pudding @ lunch (ok 3rd)? Check. Mat mates w/ the face of Jack Dawson and the body of Tyler Durden? Check. My Karma kicks ass — this is amazing!
Before you hop on the 10 west to find said studio, let me first explain the parking, well, let’s call it the parking “situation” which are these massive structures which line either side of the 3rd street promenade; identical in shape, style, and location. Now I know what you’re thinking: “I can totally find street parking, it’s the promenade. I’ll just circle a couple times.” Oh but that’s where you’re mistaken my friend! Go ahead and start circling, but you’ll be driving right into your hip replacement surgery (e.g. it’s going to take a while for street those spots to open up.)
Admitting you are powerless is the first step…
Defeated from my attempt at finding a street spot and with only 3 minutes until the first downward dog was starting, I frantically raced into one of the faceless parking structures. As I squeezed my Rental Red Impala Sedan (that’s a whole other post) into the compact spot, I looked at where I landed and chanted those 3 magic words:
“3 B WEST, 3 B WEST….NEVER EVER FORGET 3 B WEST… OH, WHAT’S THAT SMELL? WOW THAT FROZEN YOGURT LOOKS GOOD. I WONDER IF THEY HAVE IT IN COFFEE? THEN I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE AN ICED COFFEE. WHY DO THEY CALL IT FROZEN YOGURT? IT’S MORE LIKE MELTING ICE CREAM….I SHOULD JUST GET CHOCLATE ICE CREAM INSTEAD. WAIT 3 WEST OR WAS IT EAST? B… NO IT WAS D..YEAH 4 C EAST — I’M SO GOOD!”
Cut to 89 downward dogs and 18 rounds up and down the parking garage later and I find myself sooo lost. The funny thing about being insane (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results) is that at the time you feel like you could not be more logical if you tried. (e.g. returning to spot 4 C EAST again and again looking for that Communist Red Impala seemed like the only solution.)
“Uh…excuse me, sorry, yeah so like I’m not a serial killer or anything. I just am so lost or my car is and I need help.” I was in to the 2nd hour and it was time for help from the outside world. I shouted hopefully into the used BMW and the sweaty eyes of a bench pressed “bro” looking dude shot right back at me as he kept on keeping on. At first I was so offended (how could he not do me a favor? do i really look that homeless?) That immediate rejection messed up my mojo preventing me from asking the next few stalled cars in line. I trekked back down the garage’s stairs feeling annoyed and a little lonely…
“I can’t find my car! I think it was stolen! Can I get the police?!” I whined through the plexiglass at the subdued parking attendant. Clearly this freak-out happened on a nightly basis. As she looked out at me with hollow eyes, I was a little upset that she could not muster up the energy to feel a little sympathy for my cause .
“There are four different parking garages on 4th street, ma’am” she muttered.
I started beaming with a sigh of relief. I was not going to be stuck in this garage all night! Then guilt set in as I realized that she sadly was.
If only the cast of Seinfeld was there, Kramer would’ve totally given me a ride….
edited by: Josh Tate (thanks boss!)
best power yoga in santa monica: www.poweryoga.com
