“Hey guys! Listen up!” my friend wailed into the microphone like a roadie who’d lost her sobriety (not to mention her pants).
” These rooms charge by the hour!” she rambled on. No, we were not in a brothel but rather a BYOB Karaoke bar in Little Tokyo to celebrate her day of birth. You could not, as it turns out, bring enough booze to make a white guy singing “Baby Got Back” a tolerable experience.
“… My boyfriend cannot pay any more…please contribute…I know it’s tough. I wish I could pay for you all but–” suddenly the musical styling’s of Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive” cut her off, but we got the gist. We all needed a little reminder (or perhaps a push) to throw down some dough as it turns out, like most people in today’s economy, we couldn’t really afford to be celebrating.
The fact that the economic downturn has flooded into the young artist’s pockets (or, more so, armpits) of Los Angeles is not a particularly innovative (not to mention sympathetic) idea. Yet, this “starving artist” subculture differs from most Angelinos as it outwardly takes pride in being broke, functioning on the mantra that the less you have the more you are worth. But what happens when the image overtakes the reality? When a young starving artist grows a few unwanted chest hairs (not speaking from personal experience or anything) gets hungry and can’t even afford dinner at the taco truck? A popular way to combat being a total broke-ass loser and allowing yourself to buy your first choice of second hand jeans is to pair up with another broke ass loser. Sure you can afford cashew cheese if you only have to buy half a slice.
More times than my sweaty knuckles can count have I overheard (or eavesdropped, but who’s counting?) such a testimony: “Yeah, I’m so broke I had to move in with my girlfriend “ why this step can easily count towards moving forward/maturing points in a relationship I have to wonder how many “Baby, I think we should move in together” ‘s are rooted in one to many overdraft fees. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not a real girl or anything. I don’t jizz in my jumpsuit every time I see a preview for a new Kathryn Heigel Rom-Com, but there is a part of me that wants to believe deciding to share a life together is rooted in love, passion, and desire more so than high interest rates.
But wait, if there is one thing Liz Lemon taught me (besides the fact that it’s illegal to put an expiration date on Nacho Cheese) it’s to cling on to your autonomy for dear life. You can still frolic in Griffith Park, dance in the streets outside of The Echo, and sit on the same side of the table at the Brite Spot just be sure at the end of the night to hop onto your fixed gear bikes and head to your individual version of home.
Abiding by the three S’s (Strong, Selfish, Stubborn) is not as easy to live by especially when you’re not allowed to put in for all that overtime you worked last month. The fact that the economy is attached to the bottom of the dank sea with a 4-ton anchor is definitely pushing some relationships to more grown-up places. By coupling up, individuals are forced to live and wait for it…SHARE with each other and how on earth could that lead to bad things?
In this overly analytical world we’ve created for ourselves, every little action couple makes together seems to stem from 30 million different emotions. (e.g. “you don’t automatically pass the salt with the pepper because your parents had no boundaries.”) The strong role money and all the practicality that comes with budgeting has in our relationships could be seen as a welcome change. “Do you want heat OR air conditioning this month, baby?” No real double entendre’s there.
Sure, like many impulsive decisions, these impromptu unities could end before they really begin but like those free wheeling old hippies in Topanga Canyon say, “You don’t have to get divorced if you’ve never been married in the first place.” Even if these couples only make it through one or two billing cycles, learning about your self through another person is truly priceless. In my experience, most couples are already out prowling for new “roommates” before they’ve finished splitting up their record collection (BTW – YOU (you know who you are) I want my Cat Power unplugged back like yesterday)
It’s funny to ponder how money (or lack thereof) can turn a “one night stand” into an “in case of emergency”. This idea that cash is the opposite of love is kind of bullshit right now. Whether it’s the way his face smells in the morning, or the way you can rent two Netflix DVD’s at once or maybe a little bit of both, being able to admit that you need help from the outside world, that before you can give you need to get a little first, has produced this kind of fresh vulnerability and there’s nothing cheap about that.
Photos by Patrick Gookin
